The Right Way to Ask for a Referral

When it comes to job searching, referrals can be game-changers. Studies show that referred candidates are more likely to land interviews and get hired faster than those applying through online portals. But here’s the catch: many jobseekers feel awkward about asking for a referral.

The good news? Asking for a referral doesn’t have to feel uncomfortable if you approach it the right way—with clarity, respect, and gratitude. Here’s how to do it.

1. Build the Relationship First

Referrals work best when they come from genuine connections. Don’t reach out to someone you barely know and immediately ask them to put their name on the line. Instead, start by engaging with their work, asking thoughtful questions, or reconnecting if it’s been a while.

Tip: Even a quick message like, “I’ve been following your updates on LinkedIn—it’s inspiring to see how your team is making an impact in the healthcare space” can warm up the conversation before making a request.

2. Be Clear About What You’re Asking

Ambiguity creates discomfort. Instead of saying, “Can you help me get a job?” be specific:

• Mention the exact role and company you’re applying to

• Share why you’re a strong fit

• Ask if they’d feel comfortable referring you

Example:

“I saw there’s an opening for a Marketing Coordinator at your company, and I’m really excited about it. I think my three years of content strategy experience align well with the role. Would you feel comfortable referring me?”

3. Make It Easy for Them

The easier you make it, the more likely they’ll say yes. Provide your resume, a tailored cover letter, or even a short blurb they can use when submitting the referral. That way, they’re not stuck trying to figure out how to describe you.

4. Give Them an Out

Referrals are personal—they put someone’s reputation on the line. That’s why it’s important to give the other person permission to decline without guilt.

Example:

“I completely understand if you’re not in a position to refer me right now. Either way, I appreciate your time and advice.”

This keeps the relationship intact, even if they can’t help.

5. Always Say Thank You (and Keep Them Updated)

Whether they say yes or no, show gratitude. If they do refer you, let them know how the process goes. Even a quick update like, “Thanks again for the referral—I just got invited to interview!” shows appreciation and closes the loop.

Asking for a referral isn’t about pressuring someone—it’s about creating clarity, making it easy for them, and showing gratitude. When done respectfully, referrals can turn applications into interviews, and conversations into opportunities.

Remember: people often want to help. You just need to ask the right way.